Movie Reviews from Hell
XXX
| Director: | Rob Cohen |
|---|---|
| Year: | 2002 |
| Rating: |
 |
Well, there's not much room for critical review of the story, because there isn't much of one. This movie is about as wham-bam as it gets, with only very weak one-liners to keep the 'story' dragging behind it.
Basically the idea is: Explosion first, thought later. All the rules of Holywood action flicks were followed through with deadly precision.
- Cars blow up when a bullet comes within 3 feet of them
- A man can pull a dirtbike 20 feet into the air after going off a 2 foot mound of dirt
- An avalanche is faster than a snowmobile but slower than a man on a snowboard, and can obliterate a wooden shed, but it can only make an aluminum framed antenna tower lean over a couple of inches
- The hero needs to risk his life snowboarding down a mountain in front of an avalanche (that he created) to take out an antenna when there's 300 special forces units just outside of the castle, armed with grenade launchers and automatic weaponry
- A man can jump and hold on to a smooth, aluminum boat when it is flying 80 mph down the waterway
- When you launch a grappling hook at a boat on the river beside the road, from a moving car, the cable for the grappling hook is invincible and can go through the street lamps and signs along the side of the road as the car moves forward
- Terrorists will use the Danube river to act as a transportation channel for biological weapons launched from a boat, in order to take over the world. The rockets have enough fuel in them to probably reach the outskirts of Prague.
- If a military helicopter from columbia spots Vin Diesel on a dirtbike, they will know he is a drug lord and they will get him.
Yes, I know it's an action movie. The point is the action, not the thought. But even the action wasn't enough to make up for the really stupid one-liner sentences.
This would graduate with 4 stars as a test disc for a home theater system, and that's about it.